Happy Halloween week! Here is a throw back to 6 years ago...my daughter was 7 months old and I had recently been diagnosed with Lupus. I look SO healthy compared to now. SO young. I was 27. It is amazing how the past few years have aged my mind and body so much. I WANT MY BODY BACK!!!!! I could be upset that I feel sick and long for the perfect body I used to have, or I can appreciate the things I still have. I still have two healthy children!
And here is a Halloween picture from 4 years ago...time sure does fly!
And here I am now...on the sofa (the dreaded spot for fatigued individuals) with pink checks, a tired and fattened body, and a defeated spirit...not to mention lots of other issues that are better left unsaid;) Lupus...I am sad to say that today was yours. You won. I struggled to get through a Sunday. I did NOT go to church;( I slept for hours and had help from my family to care for my children. I did not cook. I barely managed to wash and fold clothes. I did not shower. I tried to eat, but my stomach stayed hungry all day....for unmentioned reasons. I did not smile. I did not laugh. I wondered if tomorrow would be better...and now...I choose to leave today behind me and to try to think positively for tomorrow. For tomorrow, life begins again. The weekend is over and it's back to life. Back to school for the kiddos and back to work for me. Everyone is my life deserves more of me. Myself, my children, my husband, my classroom at work, my friends, my family, my God.....how do I give more when I have so little? This is my daily struggle (along with pain and fatigue). But, here is always tomorrow. And hopefully....
