Getting Ready for Disney

I'm trying to get excited because tomorrow Ella McCray and I leave for GA to see my family. Wednesday we will leave for DISNEY WORLD with my mom and my sister and the kiddos!! This was my mom's Christmas gift...and Tip and Cliff are not going. So it's a bit bitter-sweet, but I'm trying to get pumped! It's hard now that I'm hurting so much and that I know Disney is going to be hard on my body (I've already looked into renting a wheelchair)....I'm having horrible headaches today and tired...beyond tired, I almost fell asleep in church today.
I hate Lupus today...I want to say "Go away." I would love to scream at everyone I know right now. I am hurting horribly (I'd rather give birth again!)...my lip is split and I have little blisters on them. My joints are my worst enemy. My head hurts. The pain meds are not enough to take the edge off of the pain. I just want to scream.....and on top of that no one seems to notice that I could use a break or some help or a little consideration. I am fed up with other people that are selfish. How can so many people be so very self involved and inconsiderate??? I know I'm more irritable, with due right, and more sensitive, but come on....