Life Goes On

Even when I feel bad, life goes on. I find myself trying to distract my brain from thinking about reality. Work is a good distraction, I love my first graders. We recently celebrated our 100th day of school and we dressed up like 100 year olds. They were precious and I had fun being someone else for the day.

 I even got to get a quick picture with my daughter, Ella McCray, who is in the first grade class across the hall from me. She loved dressing up and wearing gray hair, although its hard to tell its gray in this picture.

 A few days ago, I took Ella McCray to the hair dresser and she got 12 inches cut off to donate to Locks for Love!! I could not have been more proud of her. As a parent, one of the most important things to me is that my children grow up to be kind, giving, caring Christians who give back to this world. And at the age of 6, I think she is on the right path.

 Her hair cut was precious on her, but I have to admit that she looks so much bigger now;(

 Here is her pony tail cut and ready to ship off. If you are interested in donating your hair, please visit Locks of Love's Website.  I hope that someone enjoys her beautiful locks! Below is the last day of school with her long hair. I even let her wear it down without a headband or a bow (which is unheard of in our house).

 Bye-bye goldilocks!!!

 I also just had my Benlysta infusion....#44 I think. It's been three years so I've lost track a bit. I am now getting my infusions in Jackson, TN, so I only drive 1 hour to my doctor's office instead of 6 hours. This helps, but they don't do infusions on Fridays. I only take off one day of work...this has made me a bit tired since I'm not getting to sleep the entire day afterwards. My husband could probably help me, but I don't think he understands how tired I really am and he has a lot of things he wants, or needs, me to do around the house and with the kids. It's hard to take a day off when you're in your own house. The kids still want mom and life continues to move whether I feel good or not. I'm sure all the moms out there understand.

We also got to go home to Georgia over Christmas. This was a wonderful trip. We got to visit with my mom and sister and all of our cousins. This was the first time all the kids have been together in over a year. It made my heart happy.

 They couldn't have been more excited to play together. It was definitely a joyful noise to my ears.

 My mom also got the girls tickets to the Fox to see The Nutcracker. We had a wonderful time eating at a little tea room before the ballet and then going to see the ballet. It brought back memories of my Mimi taking all of us when we were little. Days like this make me miss being closer to home. I actually got a little teary-eyed while we were eating. Just sitting and talking with my mom, sister, and the girls made me miss this happening more often. I want for my kids to know my mom and have some of the same memories I had growing up...we were definitely loved and made great memories with my mom, aunts, and grandparents.

We found out a few days ago that my grandfather, Bud, has pancreatic cancer. We are still waiting for the biopsy to come back, but the outcome does not look good. This trip to Georgia over Christmas was a gift. We will go home to visit my grandparents, but this might have been the last "good" visit we will have. Life is never what you would have planned it to be. I wouldn't have placed my life where it is now with the hardships that I am facing...lupus, a sister who has murdered someone, being so far from my family, loneliness, cancer affecting my family...the list could go on. But the gift...is that I have great friends that love me and will always be in my life. God has blessed me. My children are also healthy and happy....and this means the world to me.

 Here is my latest distraction. Working around the house to make some improvements without spending much money. I moved cabinets and countertops, painted my kitchen table, cut off the legs to shorten the table, put benches in to make a banquet, made burlap bench skirts, made bench covers and pillows, painted a wooden drink holder and added a barn wood top, and began wrapping my hardware with twine.

 All of this...costs less than $50. Thankfully, we have a barn out back that needs to be torn down and my husband is very crafty (when convinced to help) and he was able to do my barn wood table top. All the rest of the things were moved from other spots in my house or repurposed from outside on my back porch. It makes me feel like things are a little new and fresh.

My next project is painting our old cabinets gray and distressing them. Cliff's grandfather built our house and the cabinets were handmade and just need a little love. The white was beautiful at first, but having small children, a careless husband, and a chronic illness means that I can't clean them as often as they need to be cleaned to look good.

I hope that I can continue to live everyday and see my blessings through my mess and even bless others. Lord use me to do your will and help me to trust that you are allowing me to go through these things so that I might change and further your will by helping others in ways that I otherwise wouldn't have.