Back To Lupus

Here is my daily devotion for today...it is from the book "Jesus Calling" and it was very appropriate for me today. I haven't mentioned this subject much, but my husband lost his job at the beginning of this year. It was one of those things where his business didn't get a contract renewal because a new boss had a friend that did the same thing and he would rather use his friend...no one was under performing...it was just something that happened. But it is added stress on my body. And my body reacts and flares with stress. I cannot pretend to be normal...it didn't last five days. But I can try to live as normal a life as possible. I do worry about what will happen...I HAVE to have insurance. My infusions cost over $8,000 a piece and I get those every 4 weeks plus all of my other meds and doctors visits. So now we do COBRA and pay $1000 a month to be insured....this adds stress, not to mention the job market is hard right now. I have to keep faith and not worry about what will happen. This is why this devotion was so very perfect for me today.I have to trust that God will get us through this.

Yesterday, I also got my coupons all cut out. I was a little behind, about one months worth of coupons to cut....here's a look. Now, today I have to file them in my binder and prepare my lists for grocery trips...we need this right now because we are on a very tight budget!

Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes everything hurts. Sometimes we are unsure of our future and feel as if everything is out of our control....I think life is all about your perspective. It's how you deal with what you have been given that shows who you really are. I try very hard to be the me I want to be when things are tough...Lupus has taught me that this is a daily walk. And God is the only thing that gets me through this. I know He has a plan for me. A purpose. To effect others and leave a mark somehow, even if just one person sees my life and says "Wow, what faith that she believes and trust in God even though she is sick everyday", then it has been worth it. My Lupus makes me believe in God. It makes me look death right in the eyes. It makes me think about each day as a gift because I am not guaranteed a long life, my organs could start to shut down any day. It makes me stronger, to struggle through silently and without anyone else that understands. It makes me who God has meant for me to be. I just hope I can do what I God has planned for me, that I can find His will instead of mine.

Here is a video of a song that helps me today, "Walk\by Faith" by Jeremy Camp.



http://youtu.be/r9WXUlERHKc